Seputar Dunia Sex
Beberapa humour sex koleksi lama, mudah2an masih cukup menghibur .
Have a nice day ...
A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a fabulous babe
walking in on the arm of some ugly schlep. He asks the bartender about
her and is surprised to discover that she's a prostitute. He watches her
the rest of the night, amazed that someone so attractive could be
available to him.
The next night he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up
again, only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches
"Is it true you're a prostitute?"
"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?"
"I get $100 just for a hand job. We can negotiate from there.."
"$100!?! For a handjob? Are you nuts?"
"You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front door, and
sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked outside. "I paid cash for
that Ferrari with the money I made on hand jobs.Trust me, it's worth
The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what the hell. He leaves
with her, and gets the most unbelievable experience he's ever had.
This hand job was better than any complete sexual experience in his
The next night he's back at the bar, waiting eagerly for her to show up.
When she does, he immediately approaches her.
"Last night was incredible!"
"Of course it was. Just wait til you try one of my blow jobs.."
"How much is that?"
"$500!?! C'mon, that's ridiculous!"
"You see that apartment building across the street?"
The guy looks out front at a 12 story apartment building. "I paid cash
for that building with the money I made on blow jobs. Trust me, it's worth
Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it. He leaves with
her, and once again is not disappointed. He nearly faints -- twice.
The next night he can hardly contain himself until she shows up. "I'm
hooked, you're the best! Tell me, what'll it cost me for some pussy?"
She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the street,
here between the buildings he can see Manhattan.
"You see that island?"
"Aw, c'mon! You can't mean that!"
She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I'd own Manhattan!"
Deirdre the camel
Back in the days of the glorious British Empire, a young officer arrived at his first posting, the command of a tiny fort in the middle of the desert, twenty miles from the nearest town.
His new second-in-command is showing him around the base, when just outside the fort's walls they come across a decrepit, flea-ridden old camel.
'What's this bloomin' camel for?' asked the officer.
'Well, sir,' his second-in-command replied, 'the troops, stuck out here in the desert for months at a time, have certain... er... manly needs, from time to time. And when they need to do something about them, they use old Deirdre the camel here'.
The officer, rather embarrassed, says nothing, and continues with the tour.
A few months go by, and the officer is beginning to feel those 'manly needs' himself. So he calls his number two and says:
'I feel I may... erm... require the services of Deirdre the camel tonight. Tell me, when the men...erm... use her, do they have her bathed first?'
'Well then, see to it that she is bathed'.
'They also have her flea-powdered, first, sir'.
'Very good, see that that is done, too. And I couldn't help but notice that she is a rather tall animal. Tell me, do the men use a ladder when they, erm... mount her?'
'Yes sir, always'.
'Very well, see to it that a ladder is provided'.
'Very good sir. She'll be prepared for you within the hour.'
After an hour, the officer is escorted to the side of the fort, where Deirde waits, powdered, washed and with a ladder by her side.
The officer moves the ladder to the back of the animal, climbs it, drops his pants and begins furiously ramming into the backside of the animal. He motions to his second-in-command:
'Tell me, is this how the men do it?'
'Well, no sir, they normally ride the camel to the nearest town and pay for a prostitute, sir'.
A mother had three daughters and on their wedding she asked each one
of them to write home and tell her about their married life.
The first wrote back on the second day. The letter arrived with a
single message, "Maxwell House Coffee". The Mother is confused but
finally noticed a Maxwell coffee advertisement, and it said; "....satisfaction to the last drop..."
So, Mother was happy.
Then the second daughter got married and after a week she sent home
her reply. The message read; "Rothmans". So the Mother looks For the
Rothmans advertisement, and it says; "LIFE SIZE, KING SIZE".
And Mother was happy.
Then it was the third one's wedding. Mother was anxious. It took 4
weeks for a message to come through. When it did the message was simply
Mother was so concerned. She frantically went through all the
newspapers at home looking for a BA ad. She found one and fainted. The
ad says:"TWO TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BOTH WAYS."